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100wc#13

April12

Prompt: the spot just grew and grew

Genre: comedy/fantasy

One night after I had dinner, I went up to my room ready to go to bed. But I just couldn’t because there was something on my bed, It looked like gum that my sister eats, but then I felt it and it wasn’t gum at all it was slimy, sticky, green and gross. So then when I tried to fall asleep again it was stuck on my back. So the thing that was on my grew and grew. Because now it was on my stomach as well as my back. You could just say it was on my body.

by posted under 100wc | 2 Comments »    
2 Comments to

“100wc#13”

  1. April 18th, 2016 at 12:03 am      Reply brynn2016 Says:

    Ebony good job on this, I liked your idea for this prompt. I wouldn’t of thought of a spot growing on somebody. I think you might want to work on your sentence fluency. When you said the spot yuck thing it didn’t run that smoothly. Besides that you did well describing the spot for example you said: slimy, yet stick, green and gross. That gave me a good idea of what the spot was like.


  2. April 18th, 2016 at 12:04 am      Reply leyla2013 Says:

    Hey Ebony,
    I really liked the way you used the prompt e.g I would of never used like slime or something like gum like for my one I used a bean stalk which is probably common to use.

    But the one thing I would say is to go over the the sentence that says it looked like gum that my older sister eats, I would just say it looks like that gum that my older sister ate earlier.

    I also really liked the sentence that says it wasn’t gum because before i read the sentence i didn’t think that you were going to say that it wasn’t gum.

    Hope you enjoyed the feed back… 🙂

    From Leyla


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